Telegraph : MI6 spy death: Gareth Williams' bondage fetish may be related to childhood, psychologists claim

MI6 spy death: Gareth Williams' bondage fetish may be related to childhood, psychologists claim

By Victoria Ward | December 22, 2010

The apparent interest in bondage and auto-asphyxiation shown by the MI6 spy Gareth Williams, may have been the only way he could let go of his emotions and feel in control of his life, psychologists believe.

Police said today that the MI6 spy had visited a series of bondage websites and visited a drag cabaret prior to his death. They also found a £15,000 collection of unworn women’s designer clothing in his wardrobe.

Simone Bienne, a sexual therapist based in London, said that interest in bondage and sado masochistic fetishes subconsciously related to a childhood trauma.

She said: “The person tends to feel very guilty when receiving pleasure. But they have the opportunity, by surrendering themselves, to create a scene in which they are fully in control.

“Without realising it, they are recreating the feelings that they felt in the early part of their life but can change the ending. When in control, they feel accepted and nurtured.

“It allows them to feel absolved of any responsibility, guilt or worry. It’s about a struggle with life.”

She said that the more dangerous the game, the greater the original disturbance.

“If they could work through their issues in a normal way, talking to counsellors or using self help books, they would,” she added.

“But for them, this is the only way they are able to arrive somewhere. It’s very, very intimate.

“They can fully let go and experience intense pleasure and for them, it’s the only way they can receive this pleasure.”

Joy Rosendale, a psychosexual therapist working in London and Tunbridge Wells, agreed that bondage was often connected to childhood needs not being met.

She said: “It can be about a triumph over an early humiliation and a repetitive compulsion, whereby the person thinks that they will get it right this time.

“It can be about swaddling, holding a baby tight.”

Miss Rosendale said that it was an “addictive strain of behaviour” that was largely subconscious but which enabled the person to feel in control and to act something out again and again.

She said that often those who took part were “isolated within themselves” and had few social or relationship skills.

“It is often a loner, with an inward or introvert personality,” she said. “This is their release.”

“Such extreme sex games, which expose you to death, take it to the edge.”